Dilwyn [Dilly] Whan

I created this memorial page for my Dad,so he can be remembered for the amazing person that he was xxx


My Dad meant the world to me,he was my knight in shining armour,he always protected me.He was a typical Daddy,sooo proud of me,spoilt me but didnt let me get away with everything lol.He was always there to put his arms around me when i was scared,and he always killed the spiders for me haha!!! I cant believe hes gone,its not fair,he was such a healthy person,he didnt drink,he didnt smoke,he always kept himself busy.He was such a popular,nice person,he was a proper joker and always up for a laugh and had loads of friends!!! He was the number one Cardiff City Fan,absolutely passionate about them!! He was so proud the day my nephew Rio was born,he went and bought him a Cardiff City babygrow straight away lol.We all miss you so much Daddy,love you more than i can explain!!! Ill never get over the fact that you have gone.Everytime i listen to UB40 i think of you or if i see Cardiff City on the TV i know your there watchin the match and tryin to stop those goals haha.I think bout you all the time,waitin for you to come home and everything to go back to normal.I tell all my friends about you,and probably do their heading lol,but im soooo chuffed and happy to have a dad like you and i just want everyone to know what you are like.I get a bit jealous and upset when i see other people with their dads because i want to be like them,but i hold back the tears and remember how great you were when you were here and how great you still are.Im soooo proud of you Daddy,you fought so hard for so long and for that you are my hero!!!! XXXXXXXX R.I.P. xxxxxxxx


I wrote this story for my college assignment,its the true story about what happened to my Dad-

It all started on the 4th September 2004. I was 17 at the time. It was a normal Saturday evening and my dad was complaining because he had a cold and a bad chest. But we all know what men are like, they catch a cold and it’s the end of the world. Well for my Dad it was! He had been to the doctors the week before and they given him antibiotics. The next day he stayed in bed all day and my mam went upstairs occasionally to check on him. She told him to have a hot bath and a hot drink. When he got out of the bath he noticed a rash all over his legs and he thought he might have meningitis, so my mam told him to go down the emergency doctors just incase. The doctor told him “ its just an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, I suggest you stop taking them and let your chest clear up on its own”.
He stayed in bed for the next two days, drinking endless amounts of hot drinks. On the Tuesday he had a dizzy spell and didnt feel too good,so he went to the doctors for an examination. The doctors said it was just a chest infection, they gave him antibiotics and told him “if it doesn’t clear up in two weeks then we will send you for x-rays”.
When he came home that afternoon id just came home from college. He asked me to get him a drink of lemon barley because his chest felt tight, I got a bit annoyed at him because I was trying to watch TV, but when I went in to give him his drink he didn’t look too good.

“I wish id phoned
the ambulance then”

Then there was a knock at the door, it was my auntie Linda, she had come down to see Me and Dad. I told her to go upstairs and see Dad. When she went in the room, he told her he was finding it difficult to breathe but he wouldn’t let her phone the doctor, he was so stubborn. Now I can see where I get it from!

When my auntie left, she told me to look after him and make sure he had some rest, so I made him a cup of tea and he fell asleep. It was about quarter to nine and Mam was only now coming in from work, I told her Dad weren’t well, so she got into bed quietly, trying not to wake him. At about 1 ’o’ clock Dad woke up, he said his chest felt worse and he couldn’t breathe very well, but he was still being stubborn because Mam went to phone for an ambulance and he pulled the phone wire out of the wall. He kept saying “Im not going to hospital, I’ll be alright in the morning”. It was about hour later and he wasn’t getting any better. By this time he was so weak and could hardly breathe so he couldn’t argue back, so Mam rang for an ambulance. They took about 15 minutes, when they arrived they gave Dad an injection in his arm. He hated needles but he was too weak to make a fuss, then they took him straight in the ambulance. The last words he said to me and Mam was
“Don’t come up now, get dressed and come up later, and don’t forget my mobile phone”.

So me and Mam went back in the house and tried to go sleep but we couldn’t, kept wondering if he would be okay. I kept thinking
“he’s my Dad, nothing will happen to him, he will be okay”. At about seven ‘o’ clock I got up out of bed and asked Mam if I should go to college, she told me it would be better to go and take my mind off things, because I loved going to college. She said she would ring me later and let me know how Dad was. I was so sure he would be okay. I went to college and got on with my work, at about 10:30am my phone rang, it was my auntie Linda. She said that she was waiting for me down by the college gates because Mam wanted me to go up the hospital. When I got down by the gates, my sister was there and she looked really upset. Linda told me Dad was really unwell and was on a life support machine, so much for just a chest infection.

“I couldn’t even hug him”

When I got up there my Mam looked like she’d been crying for a while. She told me Dad was really ill. I went in to see him, and I had the shock of my life, instead of him sat up in bed like id expected, he was lying there, still, with all these tubes coming out of him, with a machine breathing for him. I couldn’t even hug him, incase I knocked one of the tubes out. I had to lean over very carefully and give him a kiss.

For the first two weeks Mam didn’t stop crying. I moved in with my Nan and Granch who took really good care of me. My daily routine was to get up and go to college, then come home and spend a few hours up the hospital until it was time to come home for bed, of course Mam didn’t come home at all. Everyday I seen him, there seemed to be more and more machines surrounding him. Altogether he had a machine breathing for him, a dialysis machine for his kidneys, he had double pneumonia in both his lungs, an enlarged heart and fluid on his chest. The next two weeks, I still went to college but my mobile didn’t leave my side. I was dreading the phonecall of bad news, but Dad was still fighting it and I was so sure he would pull through. Then early hours in the morning, on the 28th September the hospital rang my Mam, they said to come up because it wasn’t looking good. When we got up the hospital, most of the family were there. For 16 dreadful hours, we were just sat there waiting for news. Then we had it, the nurse came in to tell us, he was still on the machines but at least he was stable. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. All week Mam stayed by his side, hoping he would breathe for himself, but he stayed the same, so the family made Mam come home because she weren’t doing herself any favours.

“Mam’s just come home, she
wants to talk to us about Dad”

Then on the Saturday I was in my bedroom doing college work when my sister came in “Mam’s just come home from the hospital, she wants to talk to us about Dad”. When I went downstairs most of the family were there, and Mam said “sit down”. It felt as though the whole room went dark and I knew something was wrong. Then Mam said “I don’t know how to tell you this, but Dad might not make it, the nurses said he probably wont make the next three days”. I burst into tears, it felt like the world was ending. I wanted to go up and see him straight away. When I got up there, he did look a lot worse. As two days went by, I thought, this is it, but then four days passed, then five. And I was happy, because I thought if he’d fought this much then he’s got to pull through.

“He was deteriorating rapidly”

But then 2 ‘o’ clock Friday morning (8th October), we were in bed when Mam’s phone rang, it was the nurse. She said Dad was deteriorating rapidly, which meant he was getting worse. We got up the hospital as fast as we could. The whole family were sat around his bed, if it weren’t for my family I would never have coped with all this. My sister was in a terrible state, the nurse had to take her out. I sat beside him, one hand on his chest and the other holding his hand. We were just watching his heartbeat on the monitor, going up and down. Then it was about 4 ‘o’ clock and he got really bad. His heartbeat was getting lower and lower. Then about 4:30am I looked at the monitor and it was counting down. It went down to 5,4,3,2,1 and then 0. The nurse said “im so sorry, but he’s gone” Everyone was in shock and I just screamed, Mam was having a panic attack, I just didn’t know what to do, this was the worst day of my life. I wouldn’t let go of his hand, so the nurse said “go and have a warm drink and when you come back all these horrible tubes will be gone and you can come back in and see him”. So I gave him a kiss and whispered “see you after, love you” as if he could hear me. We all left the room and went to get a drink, while the specialist doctor came to turn off the life support machine. When we went back in the room, he didn’t look real.
He didn’t have any tubes or machines around him, I could finally hug him, but I WISH HE COULD FEEL IT!, instead he was lying there like a dummy. I touched his face gently, he was really cold. I put my head on his chest, listening for an heartbeat, but there was nothing. I could have stayed there forever, but then uncle Martin told me we had to go home. At home I just sat there staring at the walls, thinking of Dad, everything reminded me of him. I had to go out so I rang my friend Michelle and she took me to college. I just wanted to see my friends and my tutor, who were so supportive through all of this.
The days just dragged on, through the next week, the family planned the funeral. The night before the funeral, I went to see him in the chapel of rest, he looked so weird, it was like a dream, I wish it was. I touched his face, he was stiff and ice cold. I placed a letter in his hand which I had written to him, and on his cheek I placed a tear from my eye. He had his favourite cap and jacket on, his jeans and trainers and of course, his Cardiff City football shirt. I gave him a kiss and told him I loved him. That was the last time I ever saw him. The day after was Friday 15th October. I got up to get ready, but it felt weird, I kept asking myself stupid questions, what do I wear my hair like?, do I wear make-up? I wore my black trousers and my Cardiff City football shirt. As I walked out of my house, I expected the whole street to be out nosing, but instead they were in black suits, going to MY dads funeral!
When we got to the church I couldn’t believe how many people I could see, there were hundreds.

“DO IT FOR DAD!!”


Inside, we all stood there and the reverant said her piece then I got up to say my reading, I felt as though I just wanted to collapse but I stood there in my Cardiff City football shirt and took a deep breath, I wanted to make him proud so I did my reading and then placed a yellow rose on his coffin. When the service was over we went to the crematorium, the drive in the car felt like forever. When we got there we sat down and listened to a song by his favourite band UB40 (Cant help falling in love) and a song he had liked from holidays - Nelly and Kelly (Dilemma). My auntie [Linda] did her reading,which was lovely,and my cousin [Levi] read a beautiful poem which he had written

["You were a great uncle,so funny and mad,You were the number one bluebird fan,who was really really glad,Now that lifetime season ticket you've achieved,To watch your beloved Cardiff City succeed.One day i am going to make you ever so proud,when i step out on ninian in front of that crowd,love from your nephew Levi"]

I still couldn’t believe it but then when I seen the curtain close, that’s when it hit me, the thought of my Dad inside that coffin,all alone,was horrible!

When we got back to the house, the whole family was there. We all talked about the happy memories of Dad and told funny stories, but all I wanted to do was cry. He was a wonderful man, always playing jokes and it’s not fair that this has happened to him. Everytime I see a murderer,rapist etc... on the news a think to myself “ why couldn’t it have been them?” I know it sounds selfish but my Dad would never have hurt anyone, he didn’t deserve this. A week after the funeral we held a service down Cardiff City football ground. We let off 10 white and 10 blue balloons, to represent the colours of Cardiff City and we buried his ashes right in the middle of the goals. He would have loved that. I’m trying to get on with things but its hard. I keep trying to find reasons and place blame. Maybe it was the doctors or nurses fault, maybe it was my Dads fault for going out in the cold or maybe it was my fault for not phoning the ambulance sooner.
On his death certificate it said he had died from multiple organ failure and a respiratory tract infection, all that from a lousy chest infection!! Never take anything for granted,you never know whats around the corner!!!Love you with all my heart,forever and always Daddy!!! R.I.P. xXxXxXxXx





♡POEM 4 YOU DAD!!♡

I sent a dove to heaven with a parcel on its wings,be careful how you open it Dad as its full of beautiful things.Inside is a million kisses,wrapped in a million hugs,to tell you how much i miss you and you send you all my love.
I think of you when im awake and even when i sleep,
But all i have now is memories that i keep,
And all those memories i have of you will never go away,
Even though i cannot see you,in my heart you will always stay.
I cannot hug and kiss you,now you've gone away,
but you know i'll always love you,
more than words can say!!!!

Love you Daddy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx